Chasing Wild Horses
by Lady Starwing
Summary: It was really a bad habit of his; always trying to get stronger, even though it drove everyone away. And yet Mitsuru didn't know how to tell Akihiko that no matter what he tried, it wasn't helping anyone.


_... Okay, this did the same thing to me that "Emphaty" did to me last year; come to me as I'm falling asleep and refuse to let me rest until it's written down. However, this does give me a chance to give an explanation as to why I haven't updated within the past few weeks. _

_I lost my flash drive. _

_I only salvaged the next chapters of Guiding Light and The Darkest Flame by sheer luck, so work on them has been slow as I try to restore what information and notes I had jotted down for the stories to keep from having continuity errors. _

_Anyway, with that said, here's the oneshot, and I will explain things related to that in my usual note spot at the end of the chapter. _

* * *

Mitsuru sighed, looking out across the training room that lingered in the basement of the old S.E.E.S dorm. Although it was now closed to the public, the Kirijo Heiress … no, not Heiress anymore, the Kirijo Head, had managed to keep it from being demolished. There were still plenty of documents on Personas and Shadows that her grandfather and Ikutsuki had lingering around, and she hadn't gotten a chance to copy them all onto flash drives to preserve them. Once she had, she was going to have Iori and Koromaru torch the physical evidence, and then destroy everything else related to Personas and S.E.E.S's operations before completely refurbishing and reopening to the public for new students to use.

That meant that the basement would have to be converted into a storage room. Brushing blood red hair out of her eyes, Mitsuru watched as Akihiko continued training, abusing the punching bag that had currently earned his ire. 'He's been doing this every day since Shinjiro …' Sighing at the thought, Mitsuru thought back to what had happened just a few days ago.

After the Arisato twins had fallen into comas – according to the letter Hamuko had left, it was due to the energy they had used to seal Nyx – the group's relationships with one another had begun to deteriorate, with Aigis isolating herself in her room out of guilt and grief. The one exception Mitsuru could think of was that – of all people – Iori seemed to be forming a bond of friendship of Shinjiro, who had taken the news rather hard; he had still been confined to the hospital and unable to reach the school in time to say goodbye.

However, Akihiko and Shinjiro's friendship – come to think of it, Mitsuru couldn't recall _what _their friendship was based off of apart from them being orphans – had fallen apart in record time. Akihiko's obsession with training had only escalated from the letter, while Shinjiro considered him a massive idiot. The few times Shinjiro was in the dorm between physical therapy and detox sessions, he and Akihiko never failed to get into an argument. While Yamagishi, Takeba and Koromaru all stayed out of it, Iori would always go to Shinjiro's side and back him up, and Ken would just look between his boyhood hero and older brother in confusion and clear distress until Shinjiro would spot him and immediate stop to tend to his brother. The youngest member of the group had a severe amount of psychological issues from what all had happened to him within the past three years, and Shinjiro seemed to be the only one who could calm down and reassure him.

'Such a soft heart; no wonder Hamuko-san had such a massive crush on him.' Chuckling at the thought, Mitsuru hoped the girl wouldn't discard that crush after she woke up. 'Shinjiro didn't want to do anything with her due to his situation, and he was being careful … he didn't want to leave behind something that Hamuko-san couldn't handle alone.' Sitting on the steps and propping her elbow on a knee, she propped her head on an open hand, still watching Akihiko.

That had changed a few nights ago, when Shinjiro had arrived to pack up what little things he had, including a new watch that had been a Christmas gift from Hamuko. The tall young man had explained that he had managed to get a job down in the small town of Yasoinaba, working at some inn as a chef. Iori had grinned and given him a pat on the shoulder and wished him luck before heading off to check on Yoshino in the hospital, while the rest stared for a few moments. Ken had nearly looked horrified until Shinjiro had told him he was coming along, after which Ken hugged him and ran to pack his own things.

That was when Akihiko had entered the dorm from a jog, and heard the news himself. Instead of wishing his best friend well, he took it the wrong way.

'… Come to think of it, I don't think there was a worse way for Akihiko _to_take it …' Sighing, Mitsuru reflected on the thoughts in her head, wishing she had tried to stop them before things had gotten out of hand. 'Of all the times for Iori to be checking on Yoshino … at the least he could have held Shinjiro back a few seconds longer … at least until the headbutt.'

* * *

_"Wait … What? You mean you're going all the way down to Yasoinaba?" Akihiko stared at Shinjiro in shock, silver eyes wide as he watched his childhood friend gather the few supplies he had in the kitchen. "That's a day long train ride there and back! And why are you taking Ken with you? You know the kid's in no condition to leave!" _

"_Funny, he charged off to pack his things when I told him I was taking him with me." Shinjiro hadn't really changed after waking up from his coma, apart from standing a lot straighter than he had beforehand. His favorite peacoat had been ruined, but Hamuko had managed to help Ken pick out a new once – scarlet with what appeared to be ravens on it – and Shinjiro was wearing it quite comfortably. Looking up at Akihiko from behind his wild bangs, the brunet had shrugged his shoulders. "Besides, the doctor said it was mainly __**me**__ leaving him alone for too long that would really fuck with his head more; the apartment I got from the Inn to stay at is two bedroom. They offered it to me when I mentioned I had custody over a younger sibling." _

_Akihiko had shifted back and forth at that, clearly agitated that Shinjiro had managed to handle the situation that well. "Still, don't you think that's dangerous?" _

"_It's a hell of a lot less dangerous than leaving him here." The growl that rested in the back of Shinjiro's throat was low and dangerous, making even Koromaru stare at him in nerves. "I've caused him enough pain as it is, I ain't leaving him behind." Pulling out a series of old knives, Shinjiro tested the edges – it seemed Castor's Regenerate ability was still going strong, because his fingers healed from any cuts the blades gave him. "And I was talking with Aneki; she said that she'd try and have Maki come down and help him on occasion, but since she and Naoya had a pair of twins a few years ago, they've got their hands full." _

_Akihiko didn't even try to hide the scowl then; he had forgotten that the woman who had raised Shinjiro was very close friends with a professional therapist. "So you're just going to leave here while Hamuko's unconscious? Even though you should be protecting her?" _

_Everything the dorm froze at that; Mitsuru swore time was even shocked by that to the point of stopping. _

_The only thing she could really say at that point was that she was glad Shinjiro wasn't holding any of the knives anymore. _

_Shinjiro's eyes had narrowed sharply at that, and the imposing presence that had the local groups of ruffians and thugs petrified of him began to radiate off of him. "What did you just say?" Takeba and Yamagishi had scrambled for cover at the sound of his voice, and Koromaru's ears went flat against his skull as he hunched down. _

_Akihiko was hiding his own nerves at that, his lack of social skills proving to be his undoing. "You heard me! You're abandoning her when she's at her most vulnerable! I thought you cared about her!" _

_The feeling of dread doubled, and Koromaru let out a frightened whine before bolting to where Takeba and Yamagishi were hiding. Mitsuru herself felt her knees quaking, but only because her position was close enough to Shinjiro to see the way his eyes had hardened. The very pale grey color was unnerving normally, but with Shinjiro losing his temper, it was downright terrifying. _

"_And sitting around on my ass isn't going to protect her, Sanada." The usage of Akihiko's last name only frightened Mitsuru more. "I might as well get off my ass and do something with my life so I don't disappoint Hamuko when she wakes up." Stepping out from behind the kitchen counter, Shinjiro stopped directly in front of Akihiko. Even with the fact that there was only about an inch and a half of height difference between them, Shinjiro seemed much taller. _

"_But you're leaving town!" Akihiko wasn't backing down, but he was every bit as unnerved as Mitsuru. "You're leaving her again! When are you going to stop running aw-" _

_The resounding CRACK that echoed in the dorm room from the headbutt Shinjiro gave Akihiko was more than audible. _

_The way Akihiko shouted in pain and fell to the ground holding his head didn't alleviate any of shock in the room. Shinjiro just stood over him, radiating an aura that looked almost like black fire swirling around him. "I'm _not_ running away, you complete idiot." The growl had almost completely taken over his voice, and Mitsuru didn't see any sign that the headbutt that Shinjiro had given out injured him in any way. _

_Had the coma not weakened him at all? Or had rage just given him a temporary boost? _

"_I don't give a shit what you think I'm doing, you got that? I'm going to get off of my ass and make something of myself instead of sitting around with my head in the past." Shinjiro turned as he spoke, grabbing his bag off the kitchen countertop. "You're so damn busy getting more power that you don't really try to figure out what the hell you're really getting it for. Until you do, I don't want to see your face again." _

_Not giving anyone else a chance to say anything, he had walked upstairs to finish packing, leaving Akihiko swearing in pain._

* * *

Everyone but Iori and Ken had avoided Shinjiro after that, with Iori and Yoshino – strong and comfortable enough with going out in public for brief periods of time – seeing the brothers off for their train ride to Yasoinaba. Mitsuru had managed to gather enough courage to say goodbye to her old friend and wish him and Ken luck, but that was about it.

Shaking her head to chase the dark thoughts away, Mitsuru let out a sigh. It must have been louder than she thought, because Akihiko stopped and turned in her direction, shocked to see her there.

"Something wrong, Mitsuru?" The silver haired man walked over to where Mitsuru was sitting, wiping his sweaty face off with a towel he had hanging over his shoulder. Looking up at him, Mitsuru could still see the massive bruise and cut on his forehead from the headbutt, mostly healed now.

"Sorry, just thinking." Shaking her head, Mitsuru gave Akihiko a soft smile. "I came here to ask you if you had applied to a college yet, or if you were waiting for your forehead to heal more?"

"Second one. The doctor said they were impressed my forehead wasn't broken." Scowling, Akihiko sat down next to her, staring out across the desert sands. "Dammit, I knew he was insanely strong, but that wasn't normal …"

'You pushed him too far, Akihiko.' Biting her lip to keep from saying her thoughts out loud, Mitsuru shook her head. "Iori got a phone call from him; his job is going well, and Ama – Ken is settling in without much incident. He's still far too unstable to go to a public school, but Shinjiro's been giving him lessons when he's not working."

"Tch, for someone who dropped out of school, that's saying something." His left hand clenched into a fist. "Dammit, why is he so stubborn at times …?"

"… Because he's not one to go blindly along with what's happening; if he wants to do something, he'll not let anything stop him." The flash of insight came out of nowhere to Mitsuru's mind, but what she had seen of her friend was finally all coming together, giving a full reflection instead of the shattered pieces of mirror that she had managed to see of him before hand. The reflection Hamuko had somehow managed to see right away, without any assistance from anyone.

It was … different from what the splinters had shown.

Instead of a broken, tired and bitter lone wolf that was just looking for an end to its suffering, she could clearly see the stubborn spirit that was refusing to give in, on the verge of running wild.

The darkness that had happened to Shinjiro in his entire life was nearly overwhelming, and while he had briefly given in and tried to die, his survival actually renewed his will to fight. The young man was beaten and battered, but not broken, and if his decision to move to Inaba and refuse to let Akihiko guilt trip him into staying was any indication, he wasn't going to let anything break him.

"Puh, and he called me the idiot." Akihiko stood up at that, grabbing his discarded shirt and pulling it over his head. "I'm not going to let him get away with what he said that day; I know why I'm getting stronger. I need to help everyone." Walking up the steps, the silver-haired man let out a soft mutter. "And I'm going to prove that to him; maybe not right now, but soon, I'll show him that I know what I'm getting strength for."

"… But you're gaining the wrong strength, Akihiko." Rubbing her suddenly wet eyes, Mitsuru stared at the training arena. "Yes, I know you're strong enough to fight, but that's not the strength that's needed anymore …" Her words made Akihiko stop at the top of the stairs, turning to look at her.

"What the hell does that mean?" He seemed offended and hurt that she had said it to him more than anything else, making Mitsuru sigh again as she stood up.

"… I don't know, Akihiko. The answer's different for every person; Shinjiro found his and is using it, even if it doesn't make sense." Walking upstairs and stopping on the step that let her look into Akihiko's eyes, Mitsuru gave him a sad look that tried to make him understand. "If you keep going like this, I don't think you'll ever prove anything to him."

Akihiko's only response was to scowl and walk away, leaving Mitsuru alone in the room. Sighing, she looked down, voice sad.

"You can't keep chasing wild horses forever, Akihiko …"

* * *

_Alright, first and foremost, let me explain a few things. I started Guiding Light with minimal knowledge of the Persona series, so it is permanently exempted from my more permanent Persona headcanon, which bits and pieces of it have started to show in here. _

_1. Ken and Shinjiro are brothers. Technically half-brothers, with them sharing a mother and having different fathers. Without going into too much detail, Shinjiro wasn't exactly planned, and was put into the orphanage for his own safety. He was down by Ken's house on the fourth due to him finally locating his mother and wanting to reunite and ask her why she gave him up, but things went to hell and back. _

_2. The woman Shinjiro briefly referred to as "Aneki" (another way of saying Big sister) is Mayuzumi Yukino from Persona 1 and Innocent Sin/Eternal Punishment. After playing a good chunk of P1 and IS, Yukino reminded me a lot of Shinjiro minus his severe guilt complex, including the beanie pull the fandom (and probably parts of canon, I don't know) has Shinjiro do when greatly embarrassed. To clear things up, Yukino took Shinjiro in and raised him until he left for high school._

_3. Junpei and Shinjiro's odd friendship. All I have to say to that is go read the oneshot titled "Empathy". _

_4. Minato and Hamuko both go comatose instead of dying. Yes, I know that we received the Answer for Minato's route, but frankly, I disagree with the whole "he's dead" implications of the story. I do like the idea of Nyx and Erebus (and the Abyss itself, for that matter), but I just felt like the Answer didn't handle it well. Plus, with both twins pooling their powers, I feel like it would be just another set of bodies to add to the story's body count, and the only deaths that had any impact on the story were Shinjiro and Chidori, but I'm getting off on a tangent here. _

_Apart from that, I hope you enjoyed that, and who knows? There might be something related to this coming out as my first Persona 4 centered fanfiction. for now, please leave reviews. (and do include SOMETHING on the oneshot instead of just the author's notes, please?" _


End file.
